


Softness of White Peony

by gomushroom



Series: Rainy November [3]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-10-12 02:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gomushroom/pseuds/gomushroom
Summary: Three months later, Ohno realizes that Matsumoto's shop has been one of his constants in life and it scares the hell out of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This should have been for November. But it’s here, before the year ends, my annual visit to the favorite slow-paced Juntoshi laundry shop universe. All the initial butterflies and cuteness are still there, but things are about to get (finally!!!) a notch more intense.
> 
> ETA: I just had to edit this, even if it's a year late. :D The title is adjusted a bit. All other additions will not change any of the story. I simply have to do this to make the transition to the 4th part smoother.

The sky is clear, even if the weather forecast said it would be drizzling around afternoon. Ohno clutches his umbrella —well, it’s technically Matsumoto’s umbrella, the one he lent Ohno few months ago on that rainy night, but Ohno has been holding onto it all this time like one of his most prized possession—and heads east the station.

He feels his face blooming into a small smile upon turning to the now familiar alleys, quickens his steps to reach the front of the shop. Ohno checks his phone; it’s sly before 8 PM, just around the usual time he comes to the shop every Friday evening.

The bell rings softly when Ohno enters the shop. He looks around and finds Matsumoto nowhere in sights. After few seconds he hears a familiar voice from the back of the store, “Welcome! I’ll be right with you in a minute,” and smiles at the formal address.

Ohno is standing silently in the middle of the shop, content with the familiar welcoming fragrance when Matsumoto comes out from the backroom in rather a rush, clutching a laundry basket with a polite smile on his face. “Apology for— Ah, Ohno-san?”

Ohno bows his greeting, something that he always does when he meets Matsumoto. “The apology is mine. I’ve interrupted your work.”

“Ah, no, not at all,” Matsumoto says. His face is shining with sweat and he looks a little bit disheveled. He puts down the basket and rubs his hands on the side of his trousers. “I was just— Oh, it’s already evening. I thought it was not 8 yet.”

“I am a bit early,” Ohno says.

Matsumoto takes a glance to the clock on top of the door, and grimaces. “Ah. You’re just in time, as usual. It is I that lost track of time.”

Ohno feels guilty nonetheless. “Still, I interrupted you.”

“You don’t interrupt anything.” Matsumoto smile’s is blooming slowly on his face. “You never do.”

Ohno lowers his head when he feels flush rising up his cheeks.

“It’s just I still need to deal with some fresh shirts. They need to be done tonight. Why don’t I—? Let’s see how should I—“

“I can wait.”

Matsumoto looks a bit uneasy but he says softly, “If that’s okay with you?”

“I can wait,” Ohno says again, nodding reassuringly. He somehow feels like he should do something else. It is him who always disrupts Matsumoto’s work hour. The shop is still open until 11 after all. “Or if it may help a little bit, why don’t I get dinner?”

“Really?”

“Unless you have already—“ Ohno says, when realizing that Matsumoto might have prepared something and he is being rude all of sudden.

“No, no I didn’t prepare anything actually.” Matsumoto waves his hand quickly. “I thought it would be great to have some ramen or _gyoza_ delivered for dinner. Or anything you like.”

“I can get us something,” Ohno says.

“Or delivery. Delivery is easier I think. I just have something that we can—“ Matsumoto is already taking a step closer into the desk, eyes searching. “Let me find my phone.”

This is new, Ohno revels as he’s standing in the middle of the shop and watching Matsumoto looking a bit out of breath and unsure. Usually it was Ohno who is unsure of how to act around Matsumoto, in the enclosed space of the shop. The sight of Matsumoto frantically trying to locate his phone makes Ohno smiles in the slightest.

So what’s wrong with this being new, Ohno tries to consider his option quickly. It has always been Matsumoto who brings food to their dinner—it is more like he is constantly treated into dinner. Why not doing the opposite for once? At the sight of Matsumoto frowning at his front desk, clearly failing in finding his phone he must have tossed without a second thought before he went to work at the backroom, Ohno makes his decision. “Um, Matsumoto-san?”

Matsumoto only hums in response, still focusing on leafing through the stack of papers on the desk. “Yes?”

“Why don’t I deal with dinner?”

Matsumoto blinks in a mild surprise. “Really?”

It’s Matsumoto’s expression, tad of confusion over his face that gets Ohno. It’s how Matsumoto’s eyes turn warmer a few degrees and his smile bloom slowly that has Ohno nodding surely. “Yes.”

“Ohno-san, you really don’t have to do that. I can easily have delivery instead. It has been a long day. You just got here and I’m sure you are tired,” Matsumoto says, before he sweeps his gaze upon the table again. “I only need to find my phone.”

Ohno smiles at Matsumoto’s insistence that they should do delivery instead. Matsumoto is obviously setting aside his pending work at the backroom for the sake of standing here welcoming Ohno, for the sake of arranging for delivery. Ohno knows well that he’s intruding the man’s space and time, and perhaps for once he could do something about it.

Ohno comes into a decision. His voice is soft when he says, “Matsumoto-san?”

“Yes?” Matsumoto hums, eyes still fixed onto his front desk.

“Matsumoto-san?”

Matsumoto finally looks up, and stills upon seeing the look on Ohno’s face. “Yes.”

“Let me get dinner?”

“But—“

Ohno tries to make his voice firm, even knowing that he won’t manage to sound stern enough. At least Matsumoto must know that his offer is serious. “Let me get dinner. You still need to work and I don’t want to intrude more than I already do.

“You don’t—“

“You said I could order anything I like. So let me get what I like for dinner and you can finish work without having to worry about the delivery.”

Matsumoto stands in silence and stares at Ohno with careful eyes. There’s hint of irritation, Ohno can somehow tell, but there’s also something else, something like a flicker of appreciation and relief. “Really?”

Ohno chuckles. This time he knows what his answer is. “Really.”

“If you really insist, I suppose—“ Matsumoto lets out a small shy smile, eyes straight at Ohno. “I suppose… If it is not much trouble… Thank you.”

Ohno smiles back with a nod.

*

Ohno decides to walk back to the station, knowing all the shops are mostly around that area and he could have more variety to choose from. He settles his choice for the bright _gyoza_ chain restaurant, ordering three large servings, with rice and vegetable fry. He stops by a supermarket and gets a six-pack, opting for a cold one since they are going to partake it sooner than later. 

He takes a moment to stop outside the station near to Matsumoto’s shop. The short train ride from his office has left him with the usual excitement. It has been months since the scent and warmth of Matsumoto’s shop became a constant in his life; his weekdays are filled with the anticipation of the following Friday night, with the thoughts that he is going to share dinner with Matsumoto again.

Life is slightly bearable, at the very least. Weeks turn faster now. As much as he is not used to hope on much, as much as he hates to ponder on his own thoughts, Ohno catches himself smiling more these days. Yet, the sliver of irrational fear is ever present in his heart. What if—what if next week he can’t have what he has this week? What if—what if—what if whatever this is he’s having with Matsumoto, like any other things in his life, doesn’t work?

*

He heads back to the shop, wind has stopping blowing, a sign that it soon will rain again. Shaking the thoughts he’s having, Ohno enters the shop, chimes ringing, and finds Matsumoto just behind his desk, clearing up the desk from the stacks of paper. 

“Welcome back,” Matsumoto says with a smile. This time his tone is different from his formal greeting, like his welcome is only for Ohno. “I hope it is not much of trouble getting some food.”

“Not at all,” Ohno steps forward, the plastic bags on his hand juggling. “I only hope I don’t make a wrong choice.”

“You’re not.” Matsumoto reaches out to take half of the plastic bags from Ohno. “You can put them on here, though. I think you want to have them immediately.”

“I’m starving,” Ohno admits.

Matsumoto lets out a chuckle at the admission before looking up to Ohno rather apologetic, “I am such a bad host.”

“No!” Ohno finds himself objecting quickly. You never are, he wants to say, but Matsumoto needs to be reminded. “It’s me who’s intruding. Please, we talked about this. You don’t really have to—“

“—I should have noticed the time. But you’re right. We talked about this. And here you are treating me this time. I’m starving too,” Matsumoto says. He settles in one plastic and peeks into it with obvious curiosity. “Let’s see what we’re having for dinner tonight.”

Ohno hears it as something Matsumoto has said lightly, but he feels a punch, a pleasant sensation in his chest at the word _we_. Together, both of them, we. This is what they shared together, and that sounds so good, that feels so good. 

“Gyoza,” he mumbles. 

“Oh.” Matsumoto already begins opening the small packages. “I like gyoza.”

“And vegetable fry.”

“Nice.” 

“And cold beer.”

“Perfect,” Matsumoto beams his approval, making Ohno smiling proudly. Simply because Matsumoto said _we_ again, and Ohno wants to say _No, you are the perfect one_.

Instead he softly says, “Shall we partake then?”

*

Days bleed slowly and Ohno is suffering. It has been more than two months since that last dinner at Matsumoto’s shop. It has been two miserable months. 

Life becomes unbearable, again.

Something happens the day he went for that last dinner at Matsumoto’s shop. He can’t really define what it was but he feels the need to retreat, to not visit—for what originally he planned to be one week, yet at the end it’s already two weeks and he hasn’t find the answer, or the courage. 

But not being able to have his weekly distraction at Matsumoto’s office also reminds Ohno how terrible his work is and how much the visits to Matsumoto’s shop mean to him. 

It was easy to pretend that he doesn’t worry about how nice Matsumoto is, how welcoming Matsumoto is. It was easier for Ohno to not think too much on the soft kiss on the cheek from few months back. But now since there’s no visits, no distractions, no weekend warmth to keep him from being sane during the week, doubt creeps easier into his mind. 

In a way, Ohno knows that he’s being stupid, but he cannot help the nagging feeling of worry, of uneasiness. Now that he realizes that what he feels for Matsumoto is something even more, he comes to admit that it scares him. And, like always, Ohno chooses to not do anything about it. He just doesn’t want to hurt Matsumoto. He doesn't want to hurt what they already have, all the easy friendship and simple attraction.

Ohno supposes he can handle his life becoming miserable again, if it means that he isn't ruining Matsumoto's.

*

Few days later, Ohno spent his lunch in dazed as he tries to eat his stale sandwich and sips his lukewarm coffee without really tasting them. His mind is still in turmoil. He knows he already decides to bear the misery, but it is still very difficult. 

Soon it’s the weekend and he would have no more terrible days at work, and has to be deal with his own thoughts at his cold home. Maybe things will get better then.

Just before he finishes his lunch, his phone buzzes in his pocket. And it must be his boss, wanting him to back early at the their office because someone probably will dump more work on him again. Ohno doesn’t even as much as glance at the screen. “Yes?”

“Ohno-san?”

His breath hitches.

It is Matsumoto on the other line, asking for him, saying his name in whisper as if he’s speaking so softly to the phone speaker. And at that moment Ohno knows that he will still recognize that soft voice anywhere, even through the lousiest phone connection.

“Ohno-san?” Matsumoto asks again from the other side of the phone. There’s some rustles heard and then Matsumoto speaks clearer. “Hello, may I speak with Ohno-san?”

Ohno blinks as he tries to find his voice and answers with “Yes.”

There’s a heavy sigh from the other side of the line, and there’s nothing but silence. Ohno knows that Matsumoto does not hung up on him, but he needs to make sure that he tries to see the display on the phone; an unknown cellphone number. 

“Matsumoto-san?” Ohno says again when it feels like seconds bleed into minutes. 

“Thank god. I was so worried. You do sound okay. You are okay then. Are you okay, really?”

“I am.” Wait a minute. Matsumoto-san was worried? About him? Is he hearing this correctly? Ohno was about to say something—he doesn’t know what yet, but something—when Matsumoto beats him into it.

“Did something happen? Did you fall sick or something? The weather has been terrible these days,” Matsumoto says, before adding in much softer tone. “You weren’t visiting for a few weeks already, Ohno-san.”

“Ah, I—“ Ohno says. “I was—“

“Yes?” Matsumoto says before staying silent for a good minute, waiting for Ohno to say anything.

And Ohno wants to give him the truth. Nothing but the truth. But he doesn't like the sound of the truth, because it will only let Matsumoto know how much of a loser he is. Which he most probably is, but Matsumoto is calling him right now. His voice laced with worry, and the man said that he was worried himself.

Ohno makes a decision right there that he could swallow a little bit of his pride, and then go with the truth, the embarrassing truth. “I was scared.”

“What?” Matsumoto says, no longer in a whisper this time. 

Ohno can hear the hint of disbelief, but there’s not a single sliver of laughter he had expected to come from Matsumoto. So he threads on. “I was scared, and I’ve been coming straight home from work and just stay home, sleepless, until morning and then I went to work again.”

Matsumoto doesn’t answer anything, and Ohno could only hear the sound of his breathing through the receiver, as if he was waiting for Ohno to sort out his muddle mind.

Now that there’s no going back, Ohno continues, slowly but with the hard truth. It’s probably all or nothing at this point, but Matsumoto is listening and Ohno needs to say it. “On weekends, I really miss you and everything on your shop. I told myself that I should stop bothering you because I was scared I would be intruding too much.”

When Matsumoto is still silent, Ohno continues. “You have been nothing but kind to me. I was scared that now I’m missing you even more each day but I didn't have the courage to start visiting again. And then you called.”

It seems to Ohno that he has used all his energy to say so many things, so many truthful words. Emotions are making him giddy right now, and he settles to concentrate on breathing and listening to Matsumoto's breathing on the other side of the line.

Nothing is said for a few long full minutes.

There are so many other things that Ohno wants to say, but his throat is tight, his chest is painful, and he is now longing to see Matsumoto more than ever. He contemplates on saying more, but it seems like he has said enough for Matsumoto. He wants to say that he felt stupid for missing Matsumoto. He wants to say that he was so sorry that he didn’t say anything about it. He wants to apologize, but somehow he knows that it is not what Matsumoto wants to hear.

Finally Ohno hears a soft sigh from Matsumoto. He braces himself for the worst, but what Matsumoto says next is, “You do have the shop phone numbers, right, Ohno-san?” 

Ohno blinks his confusion a few time before he nods. A few beats later he realizes that Matsumoto couldn’t see him. “Ah. Yes, I do. I do have it.”

“Next time use it. Let me know if there’s something. Please,” Matsumoto says with a softer voice. “I get worried easily.”

“Yes,” Ohno answers out of reflex, out of happiness that suddenly flooding his mind, out of ease that he finally feels after a heavy state of mind during the last months. Matsumoto’s voice sounds so sure, so warm, so inviting, and while Ohno cannot believe his luck, he also know that this is the one that he needs to cherish and keep. His voice was raw and earnest when he makes the promises. “I will.” 

Ohno is filled with newfound hope, with new-sparked courage. He wants to meet Matsumoto, to thank him for his understanding, for his open-heartedness, for giving the chance to Ohno when Ohno doesn’t even give himself any.

They stay silent for a while, now that the words that need to be spoken have been spoken.

“Ah, would it be—?“ Ohno knows Matsumoto is still listening. He trudges on with the request that he has in mind for weeks. “Would it be okay if I stop by next week? And, I’ll bring the food this time. And if you don’t mind, next time I’ll take Sunday lunch”

Matsumoto is laughing and Ohno smiles so wide at the sound. 

“Friday dinner _this time_ is totally okay with me. I’ll look forward to the next Sunday lunch too. But why don’t we have ramen delivery when you get here instead? You can pay for the meal if you still insist.”

That actually sounds so much better, so Ohno nods again. Ah, Matsumoto still can’t see him so he says it to the receiver. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I’ll be waiting,” Matsumoto says, with a soft chuckle. “I‘ve been missing you too, Ohno-san.”

*

It doesn’t rain that Friday night. Or even if it were, there’s simply nothing that could kill Ohno’s elated mood. He goes straight Matsumoto’s shop, having a giddy relief that it is still there as he remembered. He smiles giddily at the familiar sight of the small chic sign up on the corner right of the shop. He takes a deep breath, knowing that tonight is important but he can be less nervous about this since he knows now that Matsumoto will understand.

Without knocking, he steps inside the shop and is greeted with the sight of Matsumoto standing by counter waiting for him with a nervous smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Ohno can feel his mouth forming a nervous smile; so much for being less nervous, he wonders.

“Umm, so, welcome,” Matsumoto says. Upon seeing Ohno’s apparent nervousness, he seems to be more relaxed. “I was just about to finish rearranging tomorrow’s lists, and then we can have dinner.”

“Okay,” Ohno nods, knowing that he still has that nervous smile on his face. “I'll wait. Take your time.”

“This will take a while but I couldn’t finish it soon enough,” Matsumoto says, turning to the stack of paper he needs to work on. He motions Ohno to take a seat by the costumer chair. “But I guess you want to know what you’re going to order for dinner, right?”

Ohno smiles sheepishly. “Well, you did say ramen, so I was already thinking about it, almost the whole day.”

Matsumoto lets out a soft laugh—and at that moment everything is right in Ohno’s world. He will still need to apologize for disappearing without notice. They will still need to talk more about things later. All will be dealt with later.

Now that he’s here where he wanted. 

“I have the delivery menu from the place that delivers,” Matsumoto says, handing Ohno the pamphlet. “The best offer is the tonkotsu and shoyu. But I’ll let you decide. I know what I want already, so if you already decided we could even order now. It usually takes 30 minutes for the delivery to get here and it’d be a perfect timing.”

“Okay,” Ohno says, smiling his thanks at Matsumoto before seriously perusing the menu. He really wants that ramen after all.

When he already decided, Ohno looks up to find Matsumoto focusing on his lists, deftly working with his computer, looking a bit rush as if the man wants to try wrapping his work faster. 

Matsumoto still looks as gorgeous as he always is but this time there is no more giddy flutters in Ohno’s chest. There’s only comfortable lavender scent and Matsumoto nears him, sharing nervousness and space. 

Take your time, Ohno wants to tell Matsumoto. Take your time and I’m still going to wait.


End file.
